All I Wanted
by toughgirl13
Summary: Weeks passed and he haven’t returned yet, those weeks turned into months then turned to years. Inspired by a Paramore song. SEDDIE.


**A/N: I love love love PARAMORE! This morning my dad called me from work (he's a Seaman) and since my mom won't allow me to go to their concert on March 9 i asked him for permission! And guess what he said YES and he even asked mom to buy the gold ticket(since there's no VIP)!!! Thus leading me into writing this song inspired fic. So i picked up some lines to the songs that inspired me and tada! hahahaha! oh yeah, I love my dad.**

**Disclaimer: I do NOT own iCarly, Paramore, and their songs that were used in here (All I Wanted and Looking Up) **

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Think of me when you're out, when you're out there. _

Three years since he was gone and I still can't get over it. All I ever wanted was for him to like me too but he needed to go, his father needed to meet him. At first I thought it was just for the vacation but I never would've thought that he would be there for good. He never told us. I know he is not too good in handling goodbyes but he could've just written a letter. In that way I wouldn't be left here waiting for his return.

Since he moved out I've never been the same. I don't do bad things to other people. I don't get detention, I don't smile, and I'm not as energetic as I used to be. Carly and Spencer tried everything, taking me to the water park, a lot of ham on their fridge, iCarly. Since he was gone iCarly had stopped. Freddie's the heart of the show. Sure he's not one of the stars but he's the one who did all the stuffs that needed to be done to make a successful web show, two host/stars wasn't enough, they need a technical producer.

I took a long shower and dressed up. I grabbed my coat and walked out of my house. As usual it was a rainy day so I placed the hood of my jacket on the top of my head. I do love the rain sometimes. Since I am Sam I don't usually cry in front of other people but when it rains I can cry all I want without people noticing it. Since I am all wet I am not allowed to ride the bus nor the taxi so I had to walk. Seeing the Bushwell Plaza getting nearer I put my hood down and started running inside. I closed my eyes and waited for Lewbert's scream. It's the only way that I would now that I'm not the most miserable person in the world.

"I just mopped that floor!" Lewbert screamed. I rolled my eyes.

I walked up the stairs taking two in one step to help me go faster. I stopped in the middle of two apartments. I looked into his apartment. No one was there now since his mom moved and cannot bear his memories haunting her everyday. Pictures of him started filling my head. I can't do this, I can't remember him again when I'm trying to move on but it's always during this day when I go back to remembering him and the day he left. I looked down and opened the Shay's apartment door. I flopped down on the couch hearing footsteps coming down the stairs.

"Oh My God, Sam you're all wet!" She said with widened eyes. "Go take a shower. Oh and I have rearranged some stuffs in my closet, yours is on the second cabinet" She continued. I nodded.

A few minutes later I was back in the couch with my hair wet from the shower. I sat on the couch looking at the television with blank expression.

"Want some ham?" she asked.

"No, thanks" I replied. I know, I know, me? Refusing ham? Can you picture it?

"Okay" She sighed.

"Hey! Hey!" A same old jolly Spencer entered the room. "Who wants some smoothies?" He looked at me and his smile faded. I hate it. I hate how I make other people feel just because of these stupid feelings.

"Today is the day?" He asked Carly. She nodded in reply.

Today is the day he left. Just in time for Valentines Day. Today was the saddest day of my year.

"Well—uhmm, I'm going to talk to Socko about the new socks I ordered. Carly can you help me find my magic meatball?"

"I thought you were going to phone Socko?" She replied.

"Just help me find my meatball!" He said grabbing Carly into his room. I looked at the direction they're heading and back on the off television. I stood up and walk up stairs to see the dusty iCarly studio. The room haven't change but it doesn't give the same feeling it gives me before. The feeling of happiness and contentment that floods my heart when I enter 's like a home to me. Now it's just a studio. It may be filled with a lot of stuffs but it's JUST a studio. IT doesn't give off the same aura like before. I didn't want touch anything; it's as if I touched something it would shatter into million pieces. I left with one last look through the window by the door and went back down stairs and sat back on the couch.

I felt my eyes getting heavier. I lie on the couch starting to close my eyes and drifting to sleep. Sometimes it helps but sometimes I wake up with flashbacks of the time I last saw him.

_And fall asleep on the couch. __Wake up early to black and white re-runs._

-_FlashBack-_

It was Valentines Day and Carly and I did an iCarly Valentines Day Special. It was the day I realized that I was indeed, in love with the one and only, Freddie Benson, the dorkiest dork in the world. One year ago I would've puked if someone told me that I may be in love with Fredducini but now I'm not so sure.

"Great show you guys!" Freddie said putting his geeky camera down.

"Yeah, we don't need your opinion" I said. At this statement he rolled his eyes.

"Who wants to go to Groovy Smoothies for an after show snack?" Carly asked.

"I can't. Today's my flight" Freddie replied

"Oh right! You're going to meet your father! Well good luck! You're going to need it" I said. He raised his eyebrows. "Well who knows? With a face like that you really think he won't throw you away?" He rolled his eyes.

"Hahaha! Very funny! Now if you excuse me! I have some luggage to pack."

"Okay but seriously Benson, good luck" I gave him the sweetest, most innocent smile I could ever give. I truly wish him good luck. I know what it's like when your father doesn't want you at all.

"Thanks Puckett" He gave me a tight hug it was as if he never wants to let me go. I thump his head.

"Hey I just wished you good luck you don't need to be huggy-feely" I smiled. He then proceeded Into hugging Carly.

"Thank you guys! I'm leaving now." I saw something in his eyes. He looked kind of—sad. I thought maybe it's because of him meeting his father but something seems a little— off. He's brown eyes were filled with sadness and I know that right now he's faking his smile.

Weeks passed and he haven't returned yet, those weeks turned into months then turned to years.

-_end of flashback-_

"Ahhhh!!!" I heard Carly screamed. I ran towards Spencer's room thinking that something might have happen.

"What happened?" I ask looking at the both of them with a smile on Spencer's face.

"Nothing! It's just that Spencer was trying to tickle me." Carly glared at Spencer. I look at them with suspicion. They we're trying not to tell me something and I can feel that. I shrug that feeling off and sat back on the couch. I turned on the television trying to see if something good was on. I flipped through the channels. Nothing good was on so I just switched on the radio.

_I could follow you to the beginning __and just relive the start __and maybe then we'll remember to slow down __to all of our favorite parts._

The voice of Hayley Williams burst in the speakers. Man, I love Paramore. I smiled for which rarely happen these past few years. I closed my eyes. I remembered my favorite parts of my life. The night we kissed. My first kiss. The day I discovered that he help me get rid of Missy. The fights we've had. All of those things made me like him even more. If I could turn back time I'll stop him. If I knew it I would've stopped him It's his fault but what can I do? All I ever wanted was him. I wish I could repeat all those memories and relive it again. This time mistakes will be somehow corrected. I felt my phone vibrating on my pocket. I took it out and answered it.

"Hello?" I said.

"Sam?" I heard a familiar voice from the other line. My heart was pounding faster than a bullet.

"Freddie?" I replied with my voice cracking a bit.

"Wow. It's been like what? Three years? I've missed you. How are things going on?" He's voice was deeper than what I've remembered. I felt my eyes getting watery.

"You big jerk! You left without telling us that you're not coming back and now you're asking me how are things? Well It's not the same without you! You didn't even e-mail us or even just call and after three years. THREE YEARS, you're going to call us and ask how are we?" I said some tears filling my eyes.

" I know I'm sorry. You know me and I'm not good with goodbyes. And I can't talk to either of you because I'm ashamed of what I did!" He replied defending himself.

"Sorry is not gonna cut it Benson." I said.

"I know." He replied "but I want you to do something for me" He continued.

"It depends on what you want" I replied

"I want you to open the door" He said. My eyes wandered towards the door. I walk towards it and saw Freddie Benson standing in front of me. He hung up the phone I did the same putting it back on my pocket.

"I've missed you" He said.

"Yeah, me too." I said lost in words. He then grabbed my hand and pulled me closer to him his head leaning down to kiss me. I felt every part of my body jolt with a bolt of lightning. His hands we're now on my waist pulling me closer if it was possible. It took me seconds before I could respond but then I put my hands oh his hair deepening the kiss. It was better than anything else in this world. The long wait was finally over and it paid off quite good. The room vanished. It was only me and him, him and me. No one will be able to destroy this moment. By the time our lips parted I smiled like I haven't smiled in years. Better than my smile awhile ago, better than the smile when I've had my first ham, better than the smile I had when I win a bet. It was the best smile I've ever given and it was because of him.

"I told you today's the day." Spencer said smiling at Carly. So that's what they're trying to hide.

"That's sweet and disgusting at the same time. Watching your best friends make out." Carly said looking at Spencer.

_Honestly, can you believe __we crossed the world while it's asleep? __I'd never trade it in__'cause I've always wanted this and __It's not a dream anymore, no, __It's not a dream anymore, __It's worth fighting for._

Another song from Paramore was played. Have I told you I love Paramore? Yup.

"The song says everything" He smirked "It's not a dream anymore. It's worth fighting for." He hugged me tight this time I know he's never going to leave me and he's not going to let me go.

"I love you, Sam" he said kissing my head.

"I love you too, Freddork" I said with my head lying on his chest. This is the best day and year of my life.

**15minutes later....**

"Give that back!" I said running and chasing Freddie around.

"No! Sam! It was a long journey can't I eat just a piece?" he said with a plate of ham in his arms.

"It's your fault you should've eaten a long the way" I replied.

"But Sam!" He said still running away from me. "We can make out after this!" he said making me smile.

"Promise?" I said pulling a smirk

"Promise!" He said as he enjoyed his food. He sat down on the couch and I sat next to him.

_All I wanted was you._

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**That's it! Happy Valentines People!!! Have fun on your dates.. Sadly I don't have one but WHO NEEDS BOYS WHEN YOU CAN ALWAYS HAVE FUN BEING SINGLE!**

**P.S: I'm on a major writers block for 'romantic movies and real life basis'**

**P.P.S: Shoutout to musicfreak291 who's into Paramore's music like me!**


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